List Served #10 Away From The Keyboard

List Served is a semi-regular feature wherein I present you with an ordered grouping of (at least tangentially) related points. I love lists and the internet loves ephemeral minutiae. It’s all good.

These are the things that I do when I’m trying to avoid writing a piece/am stalled at a particular point/have dramatically decided Scarlett O’Hara style that I shall never write again. In case you were, you know, wondering or something.

Photo by soartsyithurts

• Go to the gym. Fume about people who put their mats too close to mine. Prop myself up on my elbows and surreptitiously check out what everyone is doing during the end of class meditation (lying there with their eyes closed like I should be). Work on my right hook.  A lot.
• Listen to the Vitamin String Quartet YouTube channel. Shut up. No, really. Shut up. I will not apologize for loving Livin’ On a Prayer arranged for the violin and cello and you can’t make me.
• Bookmark dresses on etsy and ModCloth.
• Fantasize about living a life in which I would wear cute dresses every day instead of the reality in which my legs would be cold and I would whine about that and be paranoid that my hemline was too high.
• Subtly rearrange info on the site and wonder if anyone notices. Launch a Facebook page, but then wonder if I should have waited for Diaspora to be extra cool.
• Write stuff for other folks. Recently, it was this. In the near future, there will be more. James Franco and feminism may or may not be involved.
• Bake gluten-free vegan cupcakes. Marvel at how well they turn out. Temporarily forget that I don’t like cupcakes.
• Have insomnia. Yes, still. Have strange matrimony-themed dreams when I do sleep. Did you know I can officiate weddings? Because SleepMe so can! Also, in case of apocalypse, you should totally marry the dashing scientist who lives next door to your antebellum mansion because you both anticipate that wedded status will guarantee you more civil rights under whatever post-apocalyptic junta seizes political power. Just a little tip from me to you.
• Read articles about social media and web metrics. Take diligent notes. Tell myself that weirdness in my chest is probably a heart murmur and not a rising tide of bile.