It's My Website And I'll Post Flattering Accounts Of Being Hit On If I Want To

Photo by Thomas Hawk

“This is for you?”

A voice behind me and I nearly jump three feet. A young Italian waiter holding a pizza box on his way through the connecting lobby between his ristorante, my hotel and the other pensione next door. I told him it wasn’t. He picked up on my accent and asked where I was from. I told him the truth, because I’m apparently too scrupulous to be Amy from Wisconsin.

“And you are on holiday in Rome?”

“Well, sort of.”

“All alone?”

“Yes.”

This catches his attention. He reverses directions and makes a beeline for me. It’s almost cartoonish.

“Give me your number. I call you. We’ll meet.” Deadly serious. I almost expect him to grab my hand and kiss it.

I start laughing (because, well, who wouldn’t?). “I don’t have a number. I’m staying in the hotel.”

“How long you are here?”

“I leave tomorrow.”

“Here, you take this. I work just here. You come by tonight. We meet.” Solemnly. He presses the pizzeria’s card into my hand with a charming smile.

I giggle the whole way back to my room.

While wacky adventures do tempt me, Mama didn’t raise no fool. I was flattered (and most likely all he wanted to do was have a drink or offer me a 15% off coupon for the shrimp scampi), but I’m not the throw caution to the wind type. Totally made my day, though.

Take heed, fellas. Showing initiative might not score you a hook-up with a fair young foreigner, you do you earn  much respect (at least from this quarter) for having the chutzpah to put it out there and make the effort. Having your own calling cards certainly doesn’t hurt either.