Rejected Resolutions

Grow my hair into a long, flowing mane
Rejected because: People would just mistake it for a wig, anyway. Again.

Don’t yell at my parents’ dog when I visit
Rejected because: Yelling is the only way to be heard over the barking.

Photo by Stepheye

Get fragrance named after me. Refer to it as my “signature scent”
Rejected because: Bad track record. Every perfume that I’ve ever liked has been discontinued, save for the Body Shop’s White Musk.

Smile more
Rejected because: Like I’m gonna encourage premature wrinkles. I don’t think so.

Date more
Rejected because: Sounds pretty labor intensive.  Also,  increased risk of wrinkles (see above).

Go raw
Rejected because: It’s winter. Also, as much I like the idea of making my own vegetable chips, am scared of the mandoline.

Embrace skinny jeans
Rejected because: I don’t care if it’s fashionable, I don’t like looking like Peter Pan.

Devote more energy to marketing self in social media space, including pitching guest posts on prominent blogs, commenting on others’ posts, participating in e-seminars, etc.
Rejected because: As if. Giving away your labor for only the promise of exposure is a total bush league move. Warm fuzzy feelings don’t pay the bills or advance a career, kiddos.

Wear dental retainer more than three nights a week
Rejected because: This one I’m keeping.

Sell out
Rejected because: Yep, this one is a keeper, too.

So, what won’t you be doing in 2011? Let me know in the comments.