List Served #8 Lessons Gleaned From Vacation

List Served is a semi-regular feature wherein I present you with an ordered grouping of (at least tangentially) related points. I love lists and the internet loves ephemeral minutiae. It’s all good.

Photo by foreversouls

I’ve been more or less off the grid for the last week or so, but that doesn’t mean that life has been lacking in the edification department. Time spent visiting my family never fails to prove illuminating.

Lessons Gleaned From Vacation

• How to properly tease one’s hair
• The difference between petunias and pansies
• The difference between golf hot and regular hot
• That my sister thought Cher wrote this song about Sandra Bullock’s husband
• That my mother is a texting fiend. If we were back in telegraphing times, she would have been all over the Morse Code thing.
• The wonder that is barbecued corn
• The wonder that is spiked iced tea.  Rum is best, but vodka is pretty okay, too.
• The correct method for splitting a pine log
• That my parents’ elderly dog has a beef with me, as evidenced by the fact that she peed on my bed twice in the span of  a week
• That comparing someone to a piece of raw chicken is an acceptable means of drawing attention to their paleness