Leap Now, Worry About the Net Later

A friend of mine was remarking recently about how much she admires people with the courage not to let quotidian concerns stop them from following their dreams and how she wishes she could be this way. Considering this was a woman who arrived from Romania with only two suitcases and a couple hundred bucks in her pocket, I think she’s done okay for herself in the courage dept. I thought about the c-word again when doing an interview for an upcoming post about someone who has definitely put her money where her mouth is when it comes to taking risks and pursuing adventure. I’m sensing a theme here.

Photo by ClickFlashPhotos

I will admit to being a fan of the grand gesture (not that I’ve been the recipient of many of them in my lifetime, but we all live in hope, right?*) and what gesture is grander in this day and age than simply quitting it all and walking away? As a generation, we fear ambiguity more than anything, so what it stands to reason that embracing the unknown and the uncharted strikes us as the height of bravery. We might not buy into the American Dream, but it’s at least a safe target at which to aim. People who shrug off this convention are curiosities and however we might dismiss them as foolhardy and capricious, we secretly envy their willingness to jettison what isn’t working for them and take a chance on what else might be out there.

But are these mavericks (can we finally start using this word again? Has it been long enough?) really courageous or have they simply figured out what the rest of us in the Generation Meh boat haven’t – we really don’t have that much to lose. Truth. Take a good look at your life. If you’re in your twenties, unmarried, without children, a mortgage or a chronic illness, you likely don’t have a lot of social or physical collateral to put on the line. There are very few choices in life that, should they not pan out, will leave you living alone under the Brooklyn Bridge in a refrigerator box (I’ll write more about this in future posts). So what do you stand to lose by taking a chance? Status? Income? Security? Not only are these not written in stone in the first place, they can be regained with time and effort. Do you really believe that if you left your current (unsatisfying, soul-killing) job that you’d never find one with the same salary and/or level of prestige for the duration of your 30+ year career? That you’ve already reached the apex of your working potential at this young age? If so, please go stand in the corner with the folks who unironically refer to high school as the best years of their lives. Substitute the word “relationship” for job and it’s the same deal.

What else could happen to you if you took a flying leap of faith? Ridicule? Disapproval? If you’re going to let someone else’s lack of endorsement dictate whether or not you pursue your dreams, you need to get more durable dreams and you need to re-read this. Because I guarantee the people who would dismiss your plans aren’t half as invested in your success or failure as you imagine them to be. And even if they are/were, they don’t live your life and they aren’t going to be the ones living in the box under the bridge, are they?

If you’re going to let someone else’s lack of endorsement dictate whether or not you pursue your dreams, you need to get more durable dreams….

What about rejection? What if you put it all on the line, throw caution to the wind, hire a skywriter, take out an ad in the New York Times and then get turned down or dismissed? Or what if you risk it all to move to Kuala Lumpur with your one true love and three months later the honeymoon is over and  you’re at each others’ throats? Well, kids, that’s life. It will hurt, you will feel stupid, angry, self doubting and heart broken, but you’ll also have peace of mind because you’ve slayed the dragon of what if. You’re not wasting time and preciously finite emotional energy wondering, comparing and romanticizing the path not taken. You took it and you now know exactly where it leads, for better or worse.  Even if it doesn’t keep you warm at night, that’s valuable intel;  hold onto it.

There are people out there who’d rather live with a lifetime of wistful regrets and aborted intentions than face the possibility of failure. I know them, you know them. Hell, we might even be them. Sounds pretty sad when you think about it. Don’t be that person. It might be a comfortable existence for the moment, but it’s ultimately a cowardly and unfulfilling way to live. Take your chances now, while you’ve still got nothing to lose.

*Seriously, I only live on the second floor. I could totally hear a boombox from my bedroom window, ya know? Just sayin’.